Why sandwich no get smaller?

I got a new job!

I feel like this guy!

That is all!

Dear Local Business Owners:

It has come to my attention that some of you don’t know that it’s 2009– you don’t have a website for your business, or you have one that’s godawful horrible, or hasn’t been updated since 2003 or is missing crucial information. Let me spell something out for you: It is 2009. If you have a business, you need a website for that business. Period. Your website does not have to be fancy, but it needs to contain at least the following information:

-Address, phone number, business hours, and directions from the nearest major highway, all on the same page, either on the main page or under a “locations” link on the main page. If you have more than one location, you need to provide this for each of them.

-A listing of at least some of the products or services you offer and how much they cost. Businesses that do anything for which a list of prices isn’t possible still need to provide some idea of the kind of things they offer and tell customers whom to contact for estimates and what information they’ll need. If your business is a restaurant, you need a current menu with current prices, no exceptions.

-Ideally, your site should be reasonably pleasant to look at, with a subdued color palette and minimal flashy doodads and NO MUSIC OR SOUND, ever ever ever.

I don’t think I’m asking too much here. If you’re not willing to hire a professional web designer, hire a high school or college kid for a fraction of the cost and have him or her show you how to update it. Update it at least once a month, and clearly state “Last updated [INSERT DATE HERE]” on each page of your site.

Get with the program already.

No love,

J.P. Vonderhaar